Dear Jesus, Have Mercy

I haven't had a chance to write actual blog posts here yet . . . so here we go. I need to write this out.

Jesus, we need your mercy for baby Ewan.

If you read back through the archives on this blog, you will quickly learn I have a very dear friend of my heart named Kirsten. We met in college nearly 15 years ago but didn't become close until six years after graduation, when both of us took up blogging. Then we became fast friends. (You can listen to a fun StoryCorps interview we recorded together here.)

Here is what I know about Kirsten. She is beautiful and lively and lovely and amazing. She is a truly gifted writer, a talented photographer, and a faithful friend. She is goofy, silly, and hilarious. She is thoughtful, deep, and wise. She's a fighter, and she's a lover . . . and so much more.

I adore her.

It was my privilege to stand up with her at her wedding. And it was a joy to learn she was carrying her first baby soon after. And then it was pure heartache to learn that the baby was not completely well inside her womb.

Over this past year, I've shared here and there about the difficulty of walking in darkness. The truth is, I have spent the whole of this past year in a fog. I haven't been myself, and what is worse, I haven't been present much at all for those I most dearly love, including Kirsten.

It saddened me to know that Kirsten was walking through one of the most life-changing experiences of her life without my full and unequivocal presence in our friendship. It tore me up even more to know that she was walking through an exceedingly difficult pregnancy with more than her own fair share of darkness along the way.

And I wasn't there.

One of the great gifts of the light that finally emerged on my horizon in the past couple weeks was an increasing ability to be present to this dear friend of my heart in this pivotal time. Finally, my heart was back . . . and I could love her a little better than I had been able to for a while.

I'm so thankful for the timing of this because of the life-altering experiences she's experienced this past week. Kirsten went into labor on Friday night and had little baby Ewan on Saturday morning, two-and-a-half weeks early.

These first five days of Ewan's little life have been full of so many emotions for my friend, as I'm sure you can imagine. I have watched her, through the camera lens, discover a deeper love than she has ever known existed before, and I have watched her grapple with fears and sadness because he has a broken heart.

Tonight, after a long-awaited test, Kirsten and James learned that Ewan's heart prognosis is grim. He was ordered into an emergency surgery, and right now they're enduring the countdown of several hours of waiting, waiting, waiting . . . and praying, praying, praying. Even though they knew surgeries were ahead, they never expected them to come so urgently and immediately. It is a scary night for them.

Will you please join me in praying for baby Ewan, as well as Kirsten and James? They need our prayers and love so much this night.

Lord Jesus, please have mercy.